


love you too, gay nerd

by halfwheeze



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Bants, M/M, fluff with lil to no plot, texting fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 18:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfwheeze/pseuds/halfwheeze
Summary: "Imagine Person A texting Person B in great detail about how much A loves them. B’s only response is “*nuts*” to which Person A takes everything back." from @otpprompts on tumblr





	love you too, gay nerd

**Author's Note:**

> this is a joke

RSB: hey were you okay today?

SAM: yeah  
SAM: i mean idk  
SAM: just feeling p self-negative lately

RSB: self-negative how?

SAM: bad boyfriend  
SAM: bad friend  
SAM: bad producer  
SAM: bad cohost   
SAM: bad

RSB: 1st of all  
RSB: don't talk shit about my boyfriend

SAM: ry i s2g

RSB: 2nd of all   
RSB: you're a great boyfriend. the best boyfriend i could ask for. you're so sweet to me without being too sweet and you hold my hand when i'm scared but still tease me to distract me and i love that about you.   
RSB: you're a great friend. all our friends love you and you're my best friend, shane. you're a good friend. no one can say you're not.   
RSB: and if you talk shit about my cohost you're catchin hands

SAM: *nuts*

RSB: shane alexander madej   
RSB: i s2g  
RSB: blockt

SAM: ok i love you too i just   
SAM: emotions are hard ok?   
SAM: don't say what i think you're gonna say

RSB: JUST LIKE THIS - i mean what

SAM: you could have just backspaced  
SAM: this is a text conversation

RSB: yeah but  
RSB: where's the fun in that?

SAM: uh anyway  
SAM: you wanna come watch a movie?   
SAM: if you're not doing anything   
SAM: and you want to   
SAM: actually don't   
SAM: im cool

RSB: i'm on my way, you big nerd  
RSB: smh

SAM: thanks i love you  
SAM: pls pick up popcorn on your way

RSB: already at Wal-Mart picking it up   
RSB: really the one word my phone autocaps is Wal-Mart?   
RSB: okay, sure  
RSB: also i love you too

SAM: gay

RSB: shane we've been dating for a year and a half  
RSB: i'd say we're p fckn gay

SAM: pretty fuckin bi actually

RSB: shane i swear to fuck

SAM: fuck is a swear  
SAM: i don't see the relevance

RSB: do you want popcorn, you demon fuck?

SAM: yea  
SAM: jumping on the bfu bandwagon, are we?   
SAM: demon!shane strikes again

RSB: wait is that like a thing   
RSB: i thought we were just getting questions about it as like   
RSB: individual jokes

SAM: no it's like an actual thing   
SAM: in both the fanfic and on tumblr

RSB: you actually look at our shit?

SAM: well yeah  
SAM: i wanna see how close they get to the real thing

RSB: how close have you seen?

SAM: a weird texting fic thing idk   
SAM: also the ones where we've fucked in ghost houses

RSB: WE DON'T FUCK ON THE JOB

SAM: babe i know chill   
SAM: i was there

RSB: fuck you shane madej

SAM: i mean if you wanna

RSB: i am in a fucking Wal-Mart you demon

SAM: back on the demon train   
SAM: they think i'm a top most of the time lmao

RSB: what to fuck   
RSB: i mean   
RSB: im not saying no but   
RSB: ???????

SAM: i mean i'm down to fuck you but   
SAM: lmaooooooooo

RSB: lmao  
RSB: speaking of  
RSB: are we out of lube?

SAM: almost  
SAM: pick some up?   
SAM: condoms too   
SAM: unless you don't won't them?   
SAM: siri how do i unsend a text

RSB: that's voice to text dumbass  
RSB: not picking up condoms  
RSB: cool   
RSB: you could have just told me?

SAM: i didn't wanna ask   
SAM: i was gonna say something   
SAM: but you're still in Wal-Mart and i don't wanna like  
SAM: i can't find the demon emoji but i want you to know that i mean it lmao

RSB: shane i s2g  
RSB: now i'm thinking about it   
RSB: shane madej i am in WAL-MART  
RSB: i should not have to deal with this

SAM: sorry not sorry

RSB: it is the year of our lord 2017  
RSB: but ok

SAM: that's an outdated meme too   
SAM: let me live my old man life

RSB: you're 31 you nerd  
RSB: hardly octogenarian

SAM: did you just call me a nerd   
SAM: and then casually throw around 'octogenarian'??

RSB: i can see how that could be a problem   
RSB: but i stand by it

SAM: Ryan Bergara  
SAM: Closet Nerd

RSB: that's not what bfu fans want me to come out of the closet about   
RSB: lmao

SAM: lmaoooooo  
SAM: is it about your secret porn addiction?

RSB: shut up shane  
RSB: why am i dating you?

SAM: "you're a great boyfriend. the best boyfriend i could ask for. you're so sweet to me without being too sweet and you hold my hand when i'm scared but still tease me to distract me and i love that about you."

RSB: i'm not gonna say i didn't mean that because i did   
RSB: but fuck you

SAM: <3

RSB: did you seriously just   
RSB: you fuckin dinosaur just use emojis

SAM: but i don't wanna find them   
SAM: too much effort

RSB: i am finally out of the maze of Wal-Mart  
RSB: you can scroll up through like a fuckton of messages but you can't find one (1) emoji?

SAM: well i needed the quote to make fun of you  
SAM: i can get by without the emoji   
SAM: the making fun of you was Essential

RSB: smh

SAM: you better not be texting and driving

RSB: i'm not - got an uber  
RSB: didn't feel like driving

SAM: didn't feel like driving   
SAM: or out of gas?   
SAM: and don't wanna use the pump bc you're Fragile Against Less Than Seventy Degrees

RSB: ,,,  
RSB: ok look

SAM: that's what i thought   
SAM: i'll drive you to work tomorrow  
SAM: and pump your gas Saturday  
SAM: cool?

RSB: hi i love you

SAM: love you too gay nerd

RSB: blockt

SAM: you can't block me you love me

RSB: ,,,   
RSB: maybe so

SAM: did you just meme me?

RSB: maybe so   
RSB: don't say what i think you're gonna say

SAM: you make my life so memeingf- uh what

RSB: you got pretty far in that wow

SAM: yeah im p proud of myself if i do say so myself

RSB: you shouldn't be but ok   
RSB: we're pulling up   
RSB: love you, see you in a minute

SAM: love you too gay nerd

**Author's Note:**

> gimme them prompts on tumblr, same name


End file.
